5 Things I’ve Learned About Myself and Alcohol in 9 Months of Sobriety

23 years of it since starting in high school seemed like enough

“Face gains” are totally a thing for most people when you stop drinking for a while.

Some stop drinking because of a traumatic life event. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t boozing all hours of the day, or being abusive or neglectful, except maybe to myself.

When COVID-19 gave us a lot of time to be with ourselves, I discovered I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had spent the previous 4 years of my life being a single father, silencing my own voice, needs, and desires, and being the best parent I could be.

#1 — Alcohol borrows from tomorrow by giving you what you want today

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#2 — There’s probably no such thing as “moderate drinking” despite what we’ve been taught

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#3 — Executing at my highest ability feels amazing and I couldn’t do this when I was drinking

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  • I’m constantly 100% present for my daughter in every way.
  • I’ve been able to work harder and more effectively whenever I need to.
  • I’ve got a regular meditation practice.
  • I feel more capable as an engineer for software, UI and UX, and programming in any language like I used to.
  • I’ve felt enough confidence and abilities to try and get my startup back off of the ground as a CEO and leader in my industry.
  • I feel smarter, more aware and accepting of my shortcomings, and my memory is better than ever before.

#4 — The physical, mental, and emotional gains from sobriety were more than I expected

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#5 — I discovered that I actually can, and do, love myself; flaws and all

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People are free to say whatever they want about me because I’ve already said way worse things about me to myself.

I’ve read and heard many times that you must love and take care of yourself first, before you can be available to truly love and take care of others.

Bonus — Extra time, and an appreciation for time, are the greatest gifts sobriety has given me

Photo by Jiyeon Park on Unsplash
  • There’s probably no such thing as healthy drinking
  • Being able to execute and deliver for all hours of the day feels great
  • I’m emotionally, physically, and mentally better without the booze
  • Self-love is available and important to me

Day 9 of 60 for developing a writing habit.

Accomplished Father, Leader, Engineer, Writer, and Wannabe Chef. @randomdrake